My Work Day

5:13 - I arrive to work late from Tyler, probably smelling of ciggarettes and cologne. I'm sleepy.

6:31 - I have just now woken up. My brain is still not on a functioning level right now. I can't really blog my most thought provoking ideas. To be continued...

7:46- I am now ready to begin my day. I love this job. I only really zoned out for a couple and a half hours, but I did manange to recover a couple thoughts.

I work Monday, Wednesday, Friday from 8-11am. Tuesdays and Thursdays (and some MWF's) I work 5-11am. Naturally, you would assume I like MWF best, however this is not the case. My favorite days go in order:

Sunday, Saturday, Payday, Tuesday, Friday, Monday, Thursday, Wednesday.

Some good things about being at work in a Gym at 5am? Well how about the regular customers. I love seeing people I know and see everyday. Another good thing is that for some reason the ladies teets tend to nip more in the early hours... I think it has something to do with the moon.

Finally, I love Tuesdays and Thursdays most of all because of TEG. TEG is an acronym for Tasty Eliptical Girl. Every Tuesday and Thursday at 7:45 this smoking hot, yet down to earth girl comes in to start working out for her Body Mechanics blowoff class. We small talk everytime, but some days more so than others. You know how theres always that person who you are immediately attracted to, not only on a physical basis but just the auora around them? This is her. I've actually NEVER ASKED HER NAME....which is Ironic because I've wanted to marry this girl from the first moment I saw her.

Today is the day. I will ask of her name. Hopefully I can spit a little bit of game too, maybe pull a number. Gotta take baby steps though. I will build confidence by asking small yes/no questions... Do you have a name? Do you like having a name? Do you believe in planets?

I'll work on it. I'm gonna read the Time.

7:59 - So TEG just left to go get some food. My kind of girl, going to get some McDonald's during her Body Mechanics fitness class. She was with a friend though, hard to spit game with a game-killer directly in my radar. It didn't go well though... something like this:

TEG-"Hey if coach asks if I'm here tell him I went to go get some McDonalds."

ME-"What? Ok." (Even though I don't really know your name...ask her name, it's a perfect oppur..)

TEG-"Wait... where are all the powerades?"(referring to the empty display)

ME- "I drank them all."

TEG-"What? What a fat ass!"

ME- "Yah, sorry about that."

TEG-"Did you really drink all of them?"

ME-"Yeah. I was thirsty."

Jesus Cristo what is wrong with me.

8:10 - What the fuck is catafalques?

9:31 - Catafalques is the framework that coffins rest on at funerals. Now that our collective minds are at ease, let's get back to my mission of actually growing stones enough to ask out TEG.

About an hour ago I was called in to the Chief of Campus police's office, which I think is equivalent to a peon deputy at a small town precinct. I had to I.D. a suspect in a theft up at work yesterday, and I got her. You can run, but you can't hide bad guys. The Resident is on the job.

This did however screw my plans with TEG. Her class ended before I got back from my crime-solving adventure. I talked to my Nigerian friend Victor Oslov about it, and he told me I needed to make a move. I agree, however I...well I just agree. I have to quit making excuses. I can't let my investigatory instincts lead me away from my priorities. I must get laid. Period.

9:44 - I answer a call from a lady inquiring about prices for memberships. She was the kind of customer that makes my day. Cheery mood, good humor, and quick witted. We talked about nothing for approximately 6 minutes and 15 seconds according to the phone timer.

"Like I said I used to be a life-guard... do y'all have any requirements as far as use of the pool goes?"...."You have to be able to swim." - excerpt from above mentioned phone conversation

10:06 - The countdown begins. 54 minutes... 53 now. The workday is winding down. I usually don't have any thought-provoking ideas inbetween 10:00 and 11:00. I do notice that around 10:30 I abandon all websites such as Facebook, Myspace (Through a ProxyBypass), FantasyFootball, FantasyFootball2, Google, and AOL. I tend to actually pace around anxiously awaiting my departure around 10:50 on Tuesdays and Thursdays for I have no classes afterwards.

I do have to go back to Tyler for the night though. Apparently when you wake up late for work in someone else's house there are tendencies of forgetting vital things such as cell phones and hats.

10:12 - I'm going to call it a blog-day. I like to think of my work as The Office, and I found that today it helps move the hours along.

"It's said that you can't mix business with pleasure. Really? Well then explain to me how a Putt-Putt Golf operates!"