Steve Colbwin

Stephen Colbert is to politics what Steve Irwin was to wildlife.



You flip on the tube. Let's say you see meerkat manor. If your not one of the x amount of absolute tools who watch this show, then 1) your subconsious probably makes a comment between neurons about how gay a meerkat is (However duely noting that Meerkat is one hella-cool word) and 2)Proceeds to filter to your waking consious which immediately turns the channel. What made Steve Irwin so different? Why was it fun to watch compared to immitators since his death? Why? I'll tell you why.



1) Viral Approach to Wildlife

One of my favorite stand-up comedians, Gabriel Iglesias, probably put it best:



He said that he gets upset when people on television talk about him now saying "oh it's such a loss for the nature community...he did so much for the nature community." No he didn't. He didn't help nature.. the guy was crazy. He was like..."Hey, look right there. It's a rare silverback gorilla.. and a beaut too! It's got the most powerful grasp of any primate, one sudden move and I'm dead!...... I'm gonna go poke him with a stick!"



2) Charisma out the Wahzoo

Steve Irwin was a cool dude. Period. Plus, just in case you thought he was a douche for messing with animals 24/7, he had a chick with him. Granted, she wasn't the hottest, but when your wading neck deep through a hippo watering pond in the middle of Earth's most forgotten continent... I'm just saying, at least he had a wife and wasn't humping a zebra. He had this passion for life, and everyone he encountered in some way took that with them when they departed. We should all be so lucky to live every day of our lives like Mr. Irwin did.



3) F*ck number 3

I'm not here to talk about Steve Irwin.



I'm here to talk about the similarities of him and Steven Colbert.

If you live on Mars, here's the news flash. Tuesday, Steven Colbert officially announced on his show that he would be RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

Don't bring up Google. I've already done the leg-work. Sit back and enjoy.

I know you have questions as to the validity of this, and so did I. Here's what I have found:



1) Is Steven Colbert really running for President?

-yes, but only in the South Carolina Primary



2) Why only in South Carolina?

-He is from South Carolina. Also, I believe this is an essential part of a much larger plan.

3)What Party will Colbert run under?

-Republicrat

This is what is sending political correspondants to the looney bin right now. Steven Colbert has found.. well not really a loophole, more like "a way to piss alot of people off, and entertain even more" Technically, You may run in a primary as both a Democrat AND a Republican. Has it been done? No. The catch is that it's pricey to do. Apparently, you have to pay a fee to get on the ballot... It's not one set fee though which suprised me. To run as a Democrat in SC the fee is $2,500. The fee to get on the Republican ballot however is $35,000. A little Ironic...don't ya think?


In the words of Dr. Phil Pickle, "Let's get real"... Colbert isn't going to win the presidency, He's only running the primary's in one state. It's a mathematical improbability. Colbert is making a statement. This is viral marketing at it's best. Colbert wins, we win, America wins.


It's gonna be an entertaining thing to watch. Keep posted.